Thursday, June 24, 2010

Will you accept this rose...um, I mean pregnancy test!

So, you may have heard we are will be doing our first IUI cycle in July.(If you haven't heard then this must be your first time visiting my blog) IUI is short for intrauterine insemination. So many people have asked me about how the actual procedure works. Today, while I was explaining it to one of my friends and we got to laughing...you could compare it to The Bachelorette. So I will give you the less technical "Bachelorette" version of how it works.

IUI ~ On the Wings of Infertility

So, we all know the basis of The Bachelorette. They take a nice, average girl (the girl being my egg) who has not had much luck finding true love or marriage (conception or pregnancy). They put her (my egg) in the ideal situation to meet eligible men (the hubby's "goods") and hopefully, by the end of the process, she will have selected a man and get engaged (conceive).

On the show they take their nice average girl (egg), and give her a hair stylist, makeup artist and wardrobe so she looks the best she possibly can. (In IUI they use injectable meds to get the best possible looking eggs. Ultra sounds are done to determine when she is done "getting dressed"). They take the eligible men ("the goods") and do the same. They gussy them up, make them put on a nice suit and drive them in limos to meet the girl (For IUI they take "the goods" wash 'em up, throw out the duds, make them fast swimmers and give a them nice ride through a catheter right up to the egg's door) Of course, on the show, the production team (Dr. and nurses) sets up a fancy meeting and times it just right so that they are in the exact same place at the same time and that everything is just right for TV. (To do this IUI style, exactly 36 hours before the "introductions" I take another injection to force me to ovulate 36 hours later. So, essentially we kick the chick out the door in her pretty dress just as the guys are driving up.)

For about 10 weeks we tune in each week to see if this normally picky girl can decided on a guy to fall madly in love with. We hope one of the guys is strong enough to stick around and out wit, out play, out last the others...Wait, that is a different show! All though, Survivor might also apply here! (Thank goodness in IUI we only have to wait for two weeks after the initial meeting.) Finally, the show finale airs and we can all see who, if anyone, she has picked. The kicker is to watch the "After The Final Rose Show" to see if these two actually stayed together and if they are really going to get married (or if the IUI worked resulting in conception/healthy pregnancy)

Now, the odds of the IUI working are about the same as a Bachelorette couple actually staying together (20% the first time and 50% over the course of 4 cycles) Ok, so maybe the odds of it working are better than The Bachelorette. My hope is that my egg(s) are alot like Bachelorette Trista and NOT like Bachelorette Jen....who picked no one! All that said, I think I should rent my uterus out to ABC for their next reality show. I could use a little extra cash!

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